Author Archives: Editor

Storylandia 12 is now on Sale!

Where to buy: 10% off with this code: HDCYF4CR at this online store; Amazon, eligible for Free Shipping; Kindle


Click here for a sampler of the issue. Enjoy!

Paullette Gaudet

Celebrity Sperm Bank

I am so sick of this shit. They should rearrange their letters like I do and call it USuCk. I mean, who do they think they are? They don’t even know who I am, ’cos when I said, “Do you know who I am?” they were all like, “We know you’re about to fail this semester,” and I was like, “Whatever,” and they just told me I’d have to take it up with my professor. So, here I am in Debussy’s office when I could be, like, anywhere else and not soiling my skirt on this sticky, splintery-ass, pseudo-interrogation chair in front of his desk.

He’s got a beard like he’s from the nineteenth-century and goes, “Hello Cecille, it’s nice to finally meet you,” like he’s never seen me before. Which, okay—I guess there’s a chance he hasn’t noticed me in the twelve-thousand people in his American Lit class. And, I guess I’ve never raised my hand, or even been there that often, but still

Sarah Rasher

Prince Charming Rides in from Brooklyn on a Bike

Tonight you’re the one making the booty call. Your logic is flawless: you want to get laid, Grindr scares you, you’re too lazy to make yourself pretty for going out, and it’s going to be four hours until anyone interesting goes near a bar anyway. In the past—and by “past,” we are talking three times, four if you count the night you met—in the past, he has called—and by “called,” we mean texted, this is the modern age—he has called you. Still, you don’t believe this is a faux pas, and if it is, you do not want to be fuck-buddying a guy who’s put off at being the called rather than the caller.

He texts that he will be right over. You primp expediently.

His name is Ethan. You met him at a party thrown by a girl you don’t know who is friends with your friend’s boyfriend. There was punch: two parts pineapple juice, two parts grenadine, eighteen parts tequila. You fooled around in the bathtub and, thank you Jesus and blue agave, immediately friended each other on Facebook. He used this information three weeks later to invite you over. You have never seen him sober.

Kathryn L. Ramage

The Family Jewels

A mystery set in the 1920s, continuing the adventures of Frederick Babington.

It was a beautiful, crisp, and colorful autumn afternoon. Frederick Babington, who was visiting his aunt in the Suffolk village of Abbotshill, decided to take a walk. Though the injuries he’d received during the Great War had taken a long time to heal, he was beginning to feel truly well again. His leg no longer pained him and he’d discarded his cane.

Billy Watkins, Freddie’s manservant who had saved his life during the war and looked after him diligently since, insisted that he take a coat in case the evening grew chilly and not tire himself by going too far. Freddie promised to be back in time for dinner and grabbed his tweed coat down from the rack by the front door on his way out.

He had a delightful time wandering the country lanes around Abbotshill, climbing the green hills and kicking up piles of golden and russet leaves that had fallen under the trees. At dusk, he headed back toward his aunt’s house by way of the Rose and Crown pub; a pint of the local beer seemed just the thing to complete his outing.

Patrick Satcher

The Glint

Why do things have to be so complicated, he thought while watching the boy cry. Old man Johnson, the veterinarian, had come down from the pavilion where both men had seen the race and the accident. Dr. Johnson had administered the shot that made the horse’s spasms stop forever. The boy didn’t stop crying until the tractor came with a chain to drag the carcass down to the far end of the arena. Even then he stood watching the boy.

A glint from the movement brought him back to his place in the stands. Tobacco spittle had sprinkled his white shirt with various shapes of browns. Flecks of sputum had made concentric circles of shadings. Splashes and stains. He must have been mumbling to himself he thought. Then he heard the hurried conversations re-creating the accident.

“Broke one foreleg and I’ll be goddamned if he…..”

“You see that jockey? That old boy sure enough must have broke his back.”

“When’s the next race?”

“And then the other leg tried to catch all the weight and she just busted into a heap.”

“Too bad. What are you drinking anyway?”

Julie Travis

The Ferocious Night

“La mort, c’est le commencement de quelque chose.”
(“Death is the beginning of something.”)—Edith Piaf

The end: when had it begun?

In Geoff’s opinion it had started with the body they’d found washed up on the beach. He was mistaken—a story, a final chapter, does not begin from nowhere, in the fiftieth year of a man’s life; it simply continues—but he was convinced that had they not found the body, he would still be alive.

The storms had thrown a multitude of items onto the beach; piles of seaweed, sections of fishing nets, driftwood, a scattering of stones, many of them big enough to cause injury should a person be struck by one. They were not unusual, but this time the sea had cast up something else. It was not immediately identifiable, just a light coloured shape on the sand. As they approached it, two crows hopped into sight, pecking at whatever it was. It was then that Geoff suspected it was a body. Ever the protective father, he warned Lillian to stay away, but ever the headstrong daughter, she ignored him.

They studied the body.

“What is it?” asked Lillian.

It was a white mass, tapered at one end, about three feet in length. Geoff guessed that its girth was almost as much. It was covered in thick, white fur. The underside was shaggy and dotted with sand. Geoff was almost tempted to stroke it. The top was different. The fur here was unattractive; assimilating, it seemed, with the white stickiness underneath.

Where to buy: 10% off with this code: HDCYF4CR at this online store; Amazon, eligible for Free Shipping; Kindle

Thank you!

The Wapshott Press would like to thank Ann Seimens and Sam Labutis for their support of this issue.

Book biz news

Comic Book Resources: “Pictures for Sad Children” Creator Burns Kickstarter-Funded Books

Galley Cat: Comics Artist Burns Books He Made With $50k in Kickstarter Funding (Words, they fail me)

Women’s Library to reopen doors at London School of Economics

SCIBA Mobilizes Against Festival of Books Amazon Connection

News literacy declines with socioeconomic status

Anne Rice revives much-loved vampire for new novel Prince Lestat

Los Angeles Register to Launch April 16th

Older Adults and Technology Use

Tom Weldon: ‘Some say publishing is in trouble. They are completely wrong’

“THERE IS AN UNOFFICIAL marker in the timeline of canonical classical music. It falls around 1800, during Beethoven’s lifetime, separating composers for whom biography matter to non-academic listeners from those for whom it doesn’t. It is assumed the listener needs to know about the lives of post-1800 composers: about the onset of Beethoven’s deafness and resulting feelings of alienation in order to understand the storming anger in his music, about Chopin’s sense of exile in order to properly feel the longing expressed in his, about Schumann’s struggles with mental illness in order to properly feel the spasms between passion and introversion in his, about Mahler’s faith and disillusionment in order to feel the weight of existential crisis in his. It grows out of our desire to find personal meaning in art, to find some message encoded in all those notes. We need to believe we know what our composers were about before we can trust that we’re receiving their ideas properly. To get it wrong is somehow to do them an injustice. It certainly simplifies the process of listening. We know, with Beethoven, Chopin, Schumann, and Mahler, what sort of mood we are supposed to be in even before the music begins to play. But it also simplifies and often distorts the historical record, reducing the complicated lives of our heroes to a series of mythological icons. Elsewhere in this publication, I’ve wondered if this is a problem worth worrying over: “A thousand battalions of Mozart scholars cannot erase the image of Miloš Forman’s Amadeus. But should they try?” With the publication of John Eliot Gardiner’s Bach: Music in the Castle of Heaven, a new quasi-biography of Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750), we’re situated comfortably on the other side of the 1800 line, back during the musical “Baroque” where we have a chance to see the problem at its thorniest, focusing on the composer who proves its most difficult test case.”
Michael Markham on Bach : “Music in the Castle of Heaven” Bach Psychology: Gothic, Sublime, or just human?

Book biz news

What Editors Want: An Author’s Guide to Scientific Journal Publishing

Jimmy Carter signs 1,600 books in one sitting at Powell’s

Brands aren’t the only ones becoming publishers and doing journalism — advocacy groups are too

Jane Goodall blames ‘chaotic note taking’ for plagiarism controversy

Vonnegut’s Advice to the Young Coming to Print

Ted Hughes estate withdraws biographer’s access

Harry Potter spinoff Fantastic Beasts to be movie trilogy

Christina Draganich explains how anyone can use science as a tool to understand nature, human and otherwise

Storylanida 10 review (Death Among the Marshes)

“The detective with a notebook is a commonplace in murder mysteries, and Death Among the Marshes pays homage to this trope, not once but twice – the investigating police detective brings one out, as does Billy Watkins, the manservant of the main protagonist Frederick Babington. Set in the early twenties, this clever novella also gives specific mentions both to the Sherlock Holmes stories and to the first of the Poirot mysteries by Agatha Christie, The Mysterious Affair at Styles (1920). Set in the fictional Norfolk pile of Marsh Hall, seat of Viscount Marshbourne, by the village of Marshbanks, Death Among the Marshes is Kathryn Ramage’s way of having fun with the country house mystery genre while also acknowledging that living in the aftermath of the Great War was no less difficult for many returning soldiers than surviving the actual conflict.”
A tortured but decent sleuth, by Calmgrove, March 3, 2014

And check out his other reviews of Kathryn L. Ramage’s fantasy novels:

“There is no doubting that Ramage has achieved a believeable universe where magic is real even if of secondary consideration, and there is absolutely no question that she has successfully peopled this universe with credible if flawed human beings. There is a strong sense, though, that there are unresolved threads which will be picked up and followed in the sequels (or even prequels). I look forward to immersing myself again in Redmantyl’s world of the Northlands with Maiden in Light.”
To the Dark Tower, March 9, 2013

“Jane Austen and H P Lovecraft may once have been strange bedfellows, but the recent trend of re-imagining 19th-century romances as vampire and zombie tales renders this marriage made in hell less surprising. Kathryn Ramage dedicates Maiden in Light to these two authors, though the resulting novel is not the undead romcom that you might otherwise expect. Instead we have here an engaging novel mixing social observation, convincing character development and palpable suspense, all set in an alternate world consistent within its constructed parameters.”
A Fish out of Water, March 10, 2013

Book biz news

ZYZZYVA to Publish 100th Issue

Oddest book title of the year: ‘How to Poo on a Date’

Austin Kleon: Five Books on Creativity and Getting Discovered

Women were digital media pioneers, but there’s still a gender gap there

Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird

AP Stylebook update: A sign of our times

Harlan Coben, Terry Pratchett, & Simon Schama Debut on the Indie Bestseller List

USC Is Offering a Google Glass Course for Journalism

Book biz news

“The minimum spent by Wellcome on an APC was US$75, while the maximum APC was nearly US$22,000, which was the APC for an OA book published by Macmillan, the parent of Nature Publishing Group. The highest article APC was US$10,000, which was for a publication called Public Service Review, a magazine apparently geared to policymakers in the UK. The publication may not be available any longer, as its web site is turning up missing. This was noted as well in Research Information, which states that, “it is difficult to find details of this journal and the URL listed for this journal in the Wellcome Trust’s document now appears to be available for sale.” Does Wellcome deserve a refund?”
Wellcome Money — In This Example of Open Access Funding, the Matthew Effect Dominates (sigh)

Gregor Samsa: Drone Operator by David Burr Gerrard

Knowledge Unlatched Pilot Collection will become OA

Book Prices: Have Authors Lowballed Themselves?

Philip K Dick’s Ubik: a masterpiece of malleability

How to Write a Good Non-fiction Book Proposal for Submission

Game of Thrones aiming to become multiple movie franchise

J.R.R. Tolkien’s ‘Beowulf’ Translation to Be Published

Book biz news

Heidegger’s ‘black notebooks’ reveal antisemitism at core of his philosophy

Their type? The writers who fell for film stars

Saudi book fair bans ‘blasphemous’ Mahmoud Darwish works after protest

US authors take the literary prizes but British writers still pushing boundaries

Contest of Realism. Novyi Lef.

How to Write a Good Sex Scene

My Take on the Amtrak Residency for Writers

Book Review: Courtesans, Bar Girls and Dancing Boys- The Illicit Worlds of Indian Dance

Book biz news

Tabloids in the age of social media

Anne Frank Book Defaced in Tokyo

Keith Richards’ latest riff: A book for kids (Traumatic photograph warning)

Anne Rice brings back her vampire antihero with ‘Prince Lestat’

http://lareviewofbooks.org/essay/prousts-love-paris-los-angeles/

Philip K Dick’s funny and peculiar near-futurology

Keith Richards becomes a children’s author (Another traumatic photograph warning)

When Must We Be Alone And When Not?

Book biz news

From bestseller to bust: is this the end of an author’s life?

The Creative Crevasse

Creative writing professor Hanif Kureishi says such courses are ‘a waste of time’

I agree with Hanif Kureishi – creative writing courses are a waste of time

Festival of Books announces participating authors

Anne Rice Fights Author Bullying on Amazon

10 Business Books You Need Based on Your Favorite Book as a Child

Fur flies over 16th century ‘rocket cats’ warfare manual

Book biz news

Digital Print Production Continues to Move Forward

Do French Comics Sell Abroad? The French Say “Mais Oui”

Amtrak offers writers’ residencies on US trains. Uninterrupted creativity and window-gazing – what an appealing idea. Celebrate your favourite literary train journeys below

A Land Where Dragons Are Too Dangerous

How to Write YA

Art is not a mirror to reflect the world, but a hammer with which to shape it.

A taste of George R.R. Martin’s ‘The Winds of Winter’

Simon & Schuster Launches Book-Dedicated Review Site & Daily Email

Book biz news

Bob Fosse and the Bejeweling of Horror

Martin Amis credits stepmother and Jane Austen for literary success

Hunting for New Customers at Toy Fair

40 Years Together: Rolando Hinojosa And Arte Público

Amtrak launches writers residency after author requests

Turbulent Years Ahead: An Interview with Ken MacLeod (UK SciFi)

New York Comic Con Promoter Launches New Comic Event

Now on Sale! Erotique 5!

Where to buy: 10% off code: AT7QJ4PV at this online store; Amazon (Free Shipping Yay!), and Kindle!


Erotique, Issue 5

Larger image
Sampler (pdf)
Cover by Molly Kiely

Welcome to Erotique, Issue 5!

Boredom, after a while, becomes physically painful. I have watched so much Jeopardy that I am good at it, even at American history and anagrams. There came a point when I turned on the XBox and there were no games I hadn’t won. My life up until now had been a relentless cycle of hockey-school-hockey that had segued smoothly after college into the current pattern of hockey-work-soccer-hockey-workworkWORK. Now, all my time is free.
Hat Trick, by Butch Lee Rivers

The Capitol Club hadn’t changed in ten years, and Derrick Cavenaugh wondered if that was good or bad or inconsequential. It had been quite the progressive bar when it opened—Turkish themed, with pillows on the floor (!) for seating—but now was just another Jagermeister-stop along the Pike-Pine corridor in service of the weekend Millennial wilders from across the lake and Issaquah. He trudged upstairs and squeezed past the throng at the Moroccan-tiled bar to step out onto the open-air balcony with its tiny wrought iron tables. Ten years ago, cigarette smoke might have tickled his nose out there; ten years ago, the sunset view of downtown Seattle would have been unobstructed by construction cranes. Derrick ran a hand through his hair, which had also been thicker the last time he was here. He had no idea why Bernice had chosen this place for her party, but there was nothing to do about it now; he opened a glass French door to the laughing group of youths splayed within, and forced himself to smile.
“Dare!” Bernice was supine against sage-colored silk pillows that set off her chestnut curls and creamy skin to incandescence. “You came!”
Bernice Pegs Her Dare, by Paullette Gaudet

We delight in the pastimes of the night.
But oh, what splendors are committed in light!

“What’s that you’re reading?”
“Poetry.”
“Must be wonderful stuff.” Remarkable poetry indeed, to make the eyes sparkle so excitedly and the face flush.
Couplet, by Colleen Leah

“Harry? Oi, Harry!”
Harry Thompson rubbed his eyes and raised his head groggily from his desk. The desk was piled with papers, all covered in his own scratchy handwriting: assorted sketches, diagrams, notes, and doodles. He rubbed his eyes again, then peered at his twin, stifling a yawn. “Joolz? Izz’at you?”
I Am Always Touched By Your Presence (Dear), by Rory Ondine

The argument started over a movie, the rerelease of one Gretchen and Steve saw on their first date in college. Gretchen had watched it again on video, and did not want to see it a third time. Steve said he was angry at her lack of sentiment, but Gretchen knew he was really upset that she had not been delighted at his good memory.
The Slap, Paullette Gaudet

I was cumming. My lover was still pounding into me, the thick shaft driving deep into my depths as my stomach clenched, my pussy tightened and I came hard. God, I came so hard with hips slamming against my ass, still red and stinging. Strong fingers dug into my hips, holding me tight and still while I came, making sure I didn’t move, couldn’t escape the almost unbearable pleasure.
Reversals, by Raven Ramsey

The blur of traffic passing her on I-15 matched the blur of events that brought her to this dusty California highway. She had been walking all night and half the day, her thumb poised eastward. Sarah James winced and rubbed her cheek, which was still bruised beneath the blemish cream. It was his favorite place to hit her. Sarah had far different reasons for mastering makeup than most 18-year-old girls. The last 24 hours raced through her mind like a high-speed train with frequent stops. Still feeling the bruises from last week’s beating, Sarah was acutely aware of the danger signals as she arrived home the previous night. Deanna James was face down on the couch. The rubber cord still encircled her mother’s arm like a loose bra strap. Leonard held an empty bottle of Jack Daniels. Thousands of white dots littered the TV screen. Leonard pounded the set with his free hand. He jerked around to face her, bloodshot eyes glaring.
Unfallen Snow, by Anne Namyr

The first time I watched porn with a girl was with Lauren, who was safe because she wasn’t my girlfriend and I wasn’t sleeping with her.
It was a late ‘80s thing, called “Fly Me” on VHS and was a stewardess fantasy that took place around a fictional airline. They had stock footage of airplanes and some dialogue scenes inside what looked like a real airport and there were the prerequisite scenes in “first class” in which the stewardess delivers coffee, tea and blowjobs that looked like it was shot in someone’s garage with some spare airplane seats rigged up. There were also layovers in anonymous hotel rooms. The fashions were ridiculous with bouffant hairdos and the women wearing garters and stockings that you never saw anywhere else except in Victoria’s Secret ads, and ridiculous wooden acting that elicited laughs and derision from Lauren and me rather than the intended horniness as we fast-forwarded through the sex scenes to get to the “plot” while hanging out in Gary’s empty apartment.
On Or Around Lauren, by Roger Leatherwood

Enjoy!

Where to buy: 10% off code: AT7QJ4PV at this online store; Amazon (Free Shipping Yay!), and Kindle!

Book biz news

Hundreds of Anne Frank books defaced in Tokyo libraries

Literary prizes make books less popular, study finds

Women’s fantasy fiction: join the quest for a world unknown to bookstores

James Ellroy Wakes Up in the Middle of the Night to Write

Russian Fiction: A Reading List by Emil

When Professional Society Publishers Take an Independent Path

Intellectual Sprawl — The Importance of Constraints on Authors and Other Creators

The Market for Social Sciences and Humanities Publications

Looking for Pirates in the Sea of Content (Elsevier; vicious as ever)

Book biz news

George Washington Book Prize Finalists Revealed

2014 Audie Finalists Announced

Moving stories: what do you do with your books when you change houses?

First Carla Furstenberg Cohen Lit Prize Winners Revealed

“For Myself, For My Children, For Money”: Early American Women Writers at the British Library (Our own lady actress, Anna Cora Mowatt, is mentioned)

Trial looms after Arianna loses again in case over Huffington Post origin (Moo hoo ha ha)

Announcing the L.A. Times Book Prize finalists for 2013

The Problem with Facebook (Wow. Peak Facebook)

Book biz news

Andrews McMeel to Publish ‘Reading With Pictures’

2014 Greenaway picture book prize long list – in pictures

Can Textbook Nationalization Curb “Profiteering Publishers”?

A brief survey of the short story, part 55: Edgar Allan Poe

Watterson Wins at Angoulême Festival

Can Mega-journals Maintain Boundaries When They and Their Customers Align on “Publish or Perish”?

Crowdsourcing Copyright Law in Europe

This Invitation Cannot Be Sold or Transferred

Book biz news

L.A. Zinefest returns Sunday in Culver City

Trudeau puts daily ‘Doonesbury’ on long-term hiatus to work on renewed ‘Alpha House’: ‘I’m ready for an extended break’

A Spectrum of Heroines

France’s Humanoids Now Based In The U.S., U.K.

Self-publishing: is it killing the mainstream?

The Max Planck Society buys entire Springer Book Archives

Xpress Reviews: Graphic Novels | First Look at New Books, February 14, 2014

Book biz news

First £40,000 Folio Prize Shortlist Dominated by Americans

Graphic Novels for African American History Month

Punk Is Not Dead

At the Whitechapel (Hannah Hoch exhibit, sorry about the lack of umlaut over the o)

Ancient Viking code deciphered for the first time

“A Promising Member of That Race”

Gabrielle Giffords and Mark Kelly are writing a book on gun control

2014 Stella prize longlist announced

Book biz news

Check It Out with Michael Kelley: Small Libraries Make a Big Impact

Are Scientists Reading Less? Apparently, Scientists Didn’t Read This Paper

Who Can Rival Amazon?

Forget beige – meet the women who are ageing with attitude

Marine Corps Times first casualty in headquarters’ war to ‘professionalize’

The Love Lives of Japanese Literary Giants Get Manga-ized

JRR Tolkien advised by WH Auden to drop romance

From Art Show to Art Book

Book biz news

School Specialized in Comic Books to Open in Paris

Project investigates monographs and open access

“Roger McGough. Now the go-to poet for ads, voicing high-profile campaigns…”

Lemony Snicket launches prize for librarians ‘who have faced adversity.’ Children’s author, who has himself been ‘falsely accused of crimes’ wants to honour those who have stood up to pressure from would-be book banners

Follow the ball through ‘Wooden: A Coach’s Life’ biography (If this doesn’t date and locate me, nothing will.)

“Young white men often number among the most useless and deficient individuals in society, precisely because they have such a delusional sense of their own importance and entitlements. They’ve been raised to believe that one day they’ll be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars (and superheroes), but they won’t, and they’re having a tantrum because of it.” (Maybe we should lower the western society success bar to happy, healthy, and solvent. Anything above that is a bonus, hey?)
Forget Iron Man-child – let’s fight the white maleness of geek culture (We need Iron John and we get Iron Man. Figures. On the other hand, who really needs either of them? I mean, unless you’re a selfish prince or there’s an alien invasion of New York, both being very rare occurrences in this modern world.)

The trust-fund newspaper

Since when? Grammar bonus link

Book biz news

Baker Street Irregulars in Print

Staying connected: You’re not alone

Unusual punishment: Woman sentenced to read Malcolm Gladwell

Anthony Lovett dies at 52; writer revealed hidden L.A.

Mexico bids farewell to José Emilio Pacheco

PEN and UNESCO to Bolster Minority Language Publishing

Titan Comics to Publish New Doctor Who Comics

Billionaire Fears Pogrom In San Francisco? Weird.